What is wholeness?
As long as we are staying in the material world, it seems quite simple. Money, a good job, a partner, a beautiful home, successful holidays. And even beauty, health, good relationships, being liked, self-respect and respect for others.
In other words, something that passes. You cannot take this with you to the grave.
What is the measure of fulfilment here?
Comparison.
We keep comparing ourselves with the world – I am doing better than my parents, better than the people around me. This is still external success. Even if we compare ourselves with our own inner standards, our conscience, our ego.
And yet, a human being usually wants something more. They want to feel fulfilled, to know that they lack nothing, wherever they are and whoever they are with. That means without comparison, without a point of reference, without the external world.
Wholeness is a feeling we have inside. It is peace in the body and mind, deep relaxation. It is a fully charged battery and a desire to act.
When I call this feeling within myself, I immediately see an image of a mother breastfeeding her baby. Without hurry, in a warm and safe home.
A feeling and a situation in which nothing is missing. Everything is exactly as it should be. Harmony.
But wholeness is volatile. A moment later, the child is hungry again.
And what does this look like in adult life?
It is difficult to strive for wholeness and recognise it when even that first experience is missing. There is no point of reference. We lack a feeling against which we can calibrate the scale of our experiences and sensations.
So we look outside ourselves, we look at others and see what fills them. And we create an IDEA of happiness. Exactly – an idea, which means an illusion.
And as long as we do not turn the vector of attention inward, in order to look at what is difficult, what is truly ours, the path towards wholeness will only be a filler.
A way of distracting ourselves from what is truly important in life, consuming our time and attention.